Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Best Gifts To Give This Season

This year I the fun privilege of buying Christmas gifts for the two children on my Child Advocates case, children who have been in the foster care system for years!  Children who told me they got nothing for their last birthdays, before I was assigned their case.  Children who only got clothes last Christmas at a different foster home.

Well, NOT THIS YEAR!

No, sir!

It was my mission to get these kids EXACTLY what they wanted for Christmas, down to the color.  Who knew that the Nintendo 3DS was so popular in BLUE?!  I could have easily gotten one in red or black at Amazon or most other stores and had it shipped to me like I like, but my girl wanted blue, so I stood in line at Walmart (my least favorite store, but the only one with the BLUE 3DS) for an hour to score the gift!

The children who live in my home and call me "Mom," do not get this level of service.  No way would I stress to get them the exact color of an electronic device, but these kids who have been through so much?  Who sometimes feel like nobody cares about them?  You betcha!

Today I carefully wrapped each gift, made sure the brother and sister had an even number of gifts, because, well, I KNOW that is important.  I even took the time for bows:



Then I delivered them to the kids at their foster home.  Oh the joy!!  Seriously, all gift giving ought to be like this!  Please can I never again have to buy for a person who has everything and instead just buy for people who are so over the top excited about their presents?

The kids didn't open their gifts today (the foster mother and I agreed they should save them for Christmas), but they gushed over the wrapped presents for a good half hour none the less, shaking and holding each one trying to guess what was inside!

Many Christmases I've bought gifts for strangers in need.  Angel tree, adopt-a-family, etc. and those are great things, but what was so awesome this year is that I KNOW these kids.  I've spent time with them before Christmas and I know so many details about their history and so I was able to buy them the gifts I know they are going to love and unlike so many other giving-to-the-needy opportunities, I'll still be there for these kids next month.  It's not just about giving at Christmastime, it's about relationship.  As I left we laughed as we said, "I'll see you 2015!"  But, I will.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Evidence that I have no pride remaining

I'm thinking this is a sign that I have no pride left at all, but I'm not completely sure.  What do you think?  

I help my 6 year old pass the time during an older sibling's swim practice by letting her fix my hair:



And not only do I sport that lovely hairstyle right out in public for all the world to see, but I let another child (who apparently had their finger in the way) photograph me:


Yes, all the other parents sitting nearby think I'm nuts!

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Gingerbread House Decorating

This year at our church's annual gingerbread house decorating event, we decided to two houses, a girls' house and a boys' house.  Fun for everyone and the best part is that the mess was not in my house!

Gingerbread House Decorating fun:





Monday, December 8, 2014

When you cut down your Christmas tree at a tree farm. . .

Cutting down your own Christmas tree is so quaint and beautiful and lovely!


You bring it home and your children decorate it to the sounds of Christmas carols playing in the background.  And the whole family marvels, "Didn't we cut down a great tree?!!"



AND THEN,

one Week later the plague of flies hatches from said real tree inside your house and the windowsill behind your tree looks like this:

Tons of dead flies!! (And I had just vacuumed that windowsill last week!)  Now, that's the picture you won't see on Facebook or Pintrest, but that's real life right there folks!  

No candy-coating it here, real Christmas tree may = a whole host of critters added to your household!

Next year, just give me a plastic tree from a box, thank you very much!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Only 3 Weeks Until Christmas!!

We decorated our Christmas tree last weekend, and I can say for the first time in years my kids helped decorate the tree and I did not rearrange a single ornament after they went to bed!  Not because they have become amazing tree-decorators or even learned to observe the rule that more than one ornament should not hang on the same branch, but because I do not care/do not have the energy or time to redecorate.  I'm not sure if this is a positive step forward, but I'm counting it as one!




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I was vacuuming recently (hence the hose in the picture) and this hilarious sight showed up in my kitchen:


My youngest son wearing a purple tutu and purple hair bow!

When you are sandwiched between sisters, one big and one little, these things happen!



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We took our Kapla Blocks on our roadtrip to relatives' for Thanksgiving and they were the perfect thing for cousins to join in on and to entertain the kids (and adults, too!) at grandparents house!  

The kids having a tower building contest:



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Happy Friday, can you believe it's only 3 weeks until Christmas?!!!  If it makes you feel any better I have yet to order my Christmas cards, wrap a single present, or bake a cookie, but I DID get my car inspected only one day after the sticker expired, so I'm patting myself on the back none the less!


Half-Past Kissin' Time

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Cutting down our Christmas tree as a family only looks idyllic in the pictures!

We embarked on our annual family exhibition to cut down a Christmas tree this past Saturday.





 Our 9 year old daughter fell in love with a certain tree we worried would be too tall for our living room ceiling.  Literally there were tears, TEARS, over not getting that tree she wanted!  Really, the ridiculousness of it is still amazing to me now 3 days later!











Lest the pictures fool you into thinking it was an idyllic day, just know that we began the outing with a 15 minute lecture right there standing in the parking lot of the Christmas tree farm, to address bad behavior from all 4 kids that had gone on that morning.  And mid-way through our quest for the perfect tree I may have said we'd never do this again -- I mean an entire farm worth of trees and we couldn't all agree on one!  

The 11 year old perfectly illustrating my feelings:

Then there was the colossal fit Little Girl threw in the play area that caused my husband to carry her out screaming to the car.  He later told me he kept waiting for the police to come question him for kidnapping.  We worried about that a lot when Little Girl first came to us and was throwing fits often and we were hyper aware of not matching like typical parents and children, since we are white and she is black.  But, praise God, the fits got better and I haven't thought much about being accused of kidnapping my own child in a long time.  Hopefully that Christmas tree farm fit was isolated and not the beginning a new pattern!

So, just keeping it real, and telling the back story behind the pictures, but at the end of the day we did go home with a tree that we cut down, the kids had some fun, hopefully lessons were learned, and we are a family.  We hang together through the messy and the beautiful!



Monday, December 1, 2014

You know I have a black daughter, right?

There has been so much talk of Ferguson these past few days since the verdict came out and I was inundated with news coverage while at a certain relative's house over Thanksgiving who had the Fox News going non-stop.  I've heard too many opinions on Ferguson from white people.  So, honestly I've struggled with if I should even write about this, but I just can't let it go.

I will try to be brief.

I do not know what really happened the day Mike Brown died.  I am not pointing fingers or taking sides.

But, I can tell you the whole thing feels different when you are the parent of a black child.  Really different.

I know what it feels like to parent white children and now for three years since we adopted our youngest, I am learning what it feels like to parent a black child.

It shouldn't be all that different, right?  Well, except for hair and skin care.  Only, unfortunately, there are things that ARE different because of the way others may judge my black child.

For example, when I just parented white children, it never occurred to me to coach them on what to do if approached by the police.  "Police are your friends, they are your helpers, the safe people," is probably what I said.  And I never thought about going over with my kids about how to conduct themselves in department stores when they are old enough to shop without me.  Things like, "don't put your hands in your pockets," "don't carry a large purse," "always have your receipt with you for things you've bought," "do not dig around in your purse while in the middle of a store."  Because I do not follow those rules myself.

The hard reality that the world may judge my two precious daughters, who decked out in princess attire just yesterday, differently, possibly assuming negative things about my Ethiopian daughter just because she is black, is heartbreaking!  But, it is a reality for her, and thus me, as her mom.


Racism is still a problem in our country.  I recently got a comment from a white person that caused my head to spin around and the only thing I could think to say was, "You know I have a black daughter, right?"

So many people have spoken their minds but I say, don't be so quick to speak your opinions on Ferguson, instead, look within yourself to see if you are in any way part of the problem and find a way to love.

I love the example the 12 year old boy in this picture (click link) gives to the rest of us!

And, in the spirit of developing empathy, here are black moms sharing with white moms about the race talk.

We have a lot to learn!  May God give us wisdom and compassion!